Of hope

on Thursday, November 27, 2008
Well past the submission deadline, we sat in the ladies room giving finishing touches to our microprocessor’s record. My friend who came in a little later, with updates on the Mumbai fiasco sparked anger, a little later resigned to my fate, and thinking what would be running on jayanthi natarajan’ s mind (congress spokesperson to whom we owe many laughs to), this is what we thought of, it made the tension (of the record, not Mumbai) effervescent-
RS- my favorite man, sardesai
JN- well you know her
RS- how do you explain the lack of intelligence reports to the PMO?
JN- rajdeep( in a tone in which aunties admonish, little boy’s who throw cricket balls into their compound)- the prime minister and the cabinet had to keep the phone lines free, you see ,we were waiting for Mr Obama’s call.
Sigh, I’m glad I don’t have cable television, right now

trichy trip

on Sunday, October 26, 2008
Things I don’t want to forget about the trichy trip
1. The fact that I got permission to take off with friends for the first time. I still can’t believe my parents agreed after ten minutes of hectic convincing. The fact that an uncle studied in the college some three hundred years back really helped.
2. Staying up till three in the morning, crouching uncomfortably because the other berths were lowered, talking to my friends with the cold wind hitting my face was the best part of the trip. I was completely at peace and very secure in the most unlikely place. No pictures to document it, but the approaching erode junction with the air smelling very railway station-ish , the ghostly shape of trees as the train moved away from the junction is a permanent clip in my head. We giggled as bugger had to deal with some people in a nice way even in this weird setting.
3. The campus was huge and that only seemed to impress upon us the scorching clime of this place. The heat reminded me of the in-numerable summers spent in salem, when we would play cricket in the afternoon, unaffected by it all. But now, I cursed and cribbed , one of the reasons could be my miserable mental setting after most quizzes these days. Growing up sucks, cliché take it.
4. We also slept a lot battling mosquitoes.
5. S, bugger and I had conversations, with all the new found unquestioned liberty which only three girls even a after a long day can manage. I also realized I missed out on some universal girl meeting where they teach you very essential stuff, it is becoming more evident by the day. Ganesha help me!
6. Food in general sucked. Iced tea is nice. Food court there was hell bent on stuffing us with North Indian fare, which was anything but edible. Somebody tell them we expect to be treated with the best of rice in the kaveri delta. The same reason prompted us to lunge at rice on the last day in the mess. Folks at home are very proud of this, my other achievements being zilch.
7. On the way back, we had to stop over at salem, to catch a bus back to Bangalore. Sat on the steps of saravana bhavan and discussed yedurappa’s supposed extra marital affairs and the power behind his throne at about ten in the night. Vijaykanth movies are extremely entertaining, even makes you soul search, when there is a friend, who is high because she smelt alcohol. S also predicted the storyline at about 2 in the morning when I was rudely shaken awake when the bus stopped in a shady bus-stand. There was some reference to Gabriel Garcia marquez, but my memory fails me.
8.Should buy a cigarette lighter . They are fun.

There were moments when I was really pissed off, sometimes when I was inexplicably happy. Don’t want to sound preachy but the trip was life in itself.Everything about this trip will make me smile someday.


on Thursday, October 2, 2008
Jayanagar was a distant far flung alien place for a true blue malleswaram kid like me, it was a place which cropped up in conversations with relatives when they spoke about how somebody’s uncle lived there, Appa also told me it was the first locality which was planned by BDA, hence its sculpted features. Now that I study in a college which is one of the landmarks of south Bangalore (no not BMS) though its in the fringes of the city, with a friend who is very jayanagar, my foray into this alien land has become more frequent. It’s a place out of books , with its perfect wide roads, innumerable parks with kids playing ( they have dasara vacations-dammit) and sheltered bus stops. All this is extremely romantic, but not if you are lost in 6th block like we were yesterday, with poor S in her home ground directing us in a maze of parks. Also there are lots of ganesha temples probably one in each alternate road, so it just adds to the confusion. Once we safely reached corner house , we gorged on our DBC’s and then moved onto a salad place which to my utter surprise seemed to worship ganesh, playing gaalipata songs through the afternoon. S was really proud and I was dumbstruck when the waiter there helped us out with our order in achh kannda. Proof that mass-influx from the cow belt has not affected this place, like how it has affected malleswaram and its people( extreme anguish and pain). The houses are beautiful, some probably built in the eighties when BDA first allotted the sites, the archetypal single storey with cobwebs with a faint trace of austerity, others a little more fancy. As NI and I walked back to the stop, we saw two ajjis in a quiet street talking in a hurried manner, something very clichéd which we talk about everyday, but hardly get to see. I really hope brigade and renaissance stays away from here, though I spotted a brigade classic to my displeasure. The Vani Vilas hospital is so Victorian. Why is it called vani vilas? Did kempe gowda build the Bangalore fort or was it tippu?
on Tuesday, September 30, 2008

These past two months have been different, I feel like I have been living in a completely different plane, the nitties- gritties of College has either become more tolerable or I have become completely immune to the monotony, the labs have become passe’, say analog lab and the second year kids will pee in their pants , in third year you don’t even flinch, the entire circuit which you rigged up painstakingly, muttering ‘BB roy of great Britain had a very good wife’ under your breath, has been condensed to an ‘ IC’ and voila , everything is much simpler. I have been ranting about this only to draw a parallel between my analog lab and how in the same way , everything I cribbed, cried, got depressed about doesn’t affect me anymore. Yesterday was a holiday, an extended weekend in the parlance of why-11pm-deadline people, I on the other hand spent the whole day lazing around, reading , dissecting the paper, watching private practice, washing my bags , helped amma arrange the dolls , spent an hour at the tailors’ taking lessons on aunty behavior. Now such a mundane day would have troubled me in the past, I would have hated the feeling of wasting time, for not pursuing stuff I like doing, basically finding more reasons to hate myself. I’m not troubled anymore by things I lack (not in the worldly sense). There is a faint sense of hope somewhere, that things will pan out, I’m scared that someone might call it overconfidence, and I will switch to the denial- anger mode. I should not be posting this, no no no.


on Thursday, August 28, 2008

The harsh sound of the sudden rain

Brings forth a gush of unexpected relief

The gentle patter continues

Keeping me company

As I fall asleep

on Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Why is it so difficult to accept certain facts, even though you know that’s how they are going to work out? The issues which we fight for, the relationships we share today fade away slowly, until someday you remember it with a pang or it just jolts out of smoldering memory and you don’t even care anymore. One day you wake up to find yourself on the other side.

P.S – this psychotic rant has nothing to do with my results, which the vtu has still not uploaded, maybe they are looking for a panchanga online.

22 july 2008

on Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Nuclear deal. Nuclear deal. 123. 123. Karat. Karat. Grand finale to four years of tumultuous marriage, thanks to a good divorce lawyer like Amar singh. The settlements have been made, we are told.Common souls like us do not understand what all the fuss is about, even after reading tomes about it in the HINDU. We should agree though that all the effort has been worth it. Entertainment on one rainy july day has made up for the year long dry debate and confusion. Cutting across to the point-

1.Rahul Gandhi- His speech was breaking news, as I drank my coffee all groggy on 22nd . We didn’t expect anything much from the congress general seceratry,. Few controversial remarks would have done the trick. Dammit! In the end it was a guarded speech read out to the lok sabha, I could clearly draw parallels between our youth scion and a school boy who is indulgently asked by a teacher to read a paragraph from the English reader. It was commendable that he stood unaffected as the bsp mp’s raised alarm, wisecracking with pilot, like he was expecting it. Foreign policy being debated in the Indian parliament is a thing of rarity we are told, this was one of the first and best opportunities for him to make his mark, to defend an honest politician like manmohan singh, instead he chose to make abstract connections between vidarbha and the 123 agreement, failing miserably as we saw. The sad part was that, the media tried really hard to save his ass. ‘ Rahul Gandhi brings about a human touch.’ A counter point raised by an other MP about poverty, which was only later clarified by our boy, made it to the news flash,- ‘poverty is directly related to energy security’. It is true that every election has been testing waters for him , the repeated defeats for the congress not helping matters, but too much focus on his apparent coming of age seems to have only made things more difficult for him. He is what he is because of what the media and people have made him out be. His grandmother was a fiery orator we are told , they also tell us that she was once a goongi gudiya, so we should just wait I guess?
2.Rajdeep- Man was in his element. Love him. Was at vijay chowk, to catch all the action live, I almost cried and threw a second tantrum for not sending me to Delhi, I could have stood among the aam jantha no? I would have stood outside the parliament drinking chai with the television crew, waaaaaaaaaaaah.
3.Omar Abdullah- Now our dear Raul can take a few lessons from him- about leaving an impression. Gave a passionate speech about how irrational it was to link the nuclear deal with anti muslim sentiments. He also set a precedent for next elections by talking about regrettable decisions he took when he was with NDA, some typical politician conscience talk, enjoyable though. He is damn cute also, he gave an interview to V once, years ago and I remember watching that channel ogling at him.
4.Missed lalu’s speech. Load shedding in our village.
Did Somnath chatterjee suffer from an heart attack? In the past four years? just asking.
P.S- S got to spend the whole day with a congress people and all.Was teeny weeny jealous but she wired some money into my account later. muaahhh
on Monday, June 23, 2008
Last math exam tomorrow.No more 'how was math?'. EVER. If it went well it would be a paradox. that is my excuse this time.

of overfed elephants

on Friday, June 20, 2008
Yedyurappa came visiting, to pay his respects to our 8th cross ganesha ,tv9 in tow on the day the government was sworn in, seeing our ganesha on tv I shouted the roof down. It was brushed off, appa reminiscing about the times Hedge used to visit, in a white ambassador waving to the smiling crowds in the temple. I was all sheepish at my ignorance of the celebrity status our ganesha held. Now that exams are here, I did the usual round of the all the temples , this time stopping at ganapathi temple, thanks to the yedurappa factor also my parents were kind enough to remind me that- ganesha being the highest common factor among all gods would help me in warding off the troubling shani( Saturn), who is ruling the roost for the next seven and half years. I desperately needed all the luck in the world to remember the programs for my lab externals. I haven’t been to this temple in a long time, in years in fact because we are usually tired after all the shopping and just too lazy to stop here after the matha visit, jostling the crowds there. The smaller ganesha closer home is much more peaceful,hence the neglect.Climbing the white marble steps in the temple, which are stained in a very temple way, I could smell the faint stale odor of routinely broken coconuts, which made me think of the times when I used to run up the same marble steps or race twerp to the main temple at the top. We went for the sankashtha puja regularly for two years,at those times,we wore frocks and had a boycut. The main attraction in this temple held for us initially was the shundal, which tasted very good here, I still don’t like the idea of boiled pulses at home though, there is something about shundal and temples. The priests used to come up with a myriad of alankaras to suit the general mood, my favorite one was the notebook alankara just before school started.In the same period the management procured an elephant calf to hoist the urchava moorthi, mostly to add to the essential grandeur of the temple. Once the baby elephant arrived the crowds spent all their time away from the gods , near the calf. The elephant had a childish air about it and spent all its time feeding on bananas from 8th cross market which the malleswaram praje brought faithfully. Soon the elephant acquired the status of a favorite nephew in a huge household gorging on all the attention and bananas,the kids vying for its attention. As the shankashtha phase for my parents came to an end, the elephant was suddenly taken away from the temple. We badgered our parents for its whereabouts, they in turn promised us that it had been sent to bandipur, for it was homesick and ill from all the food it had eaten. The indigestion theory was the best accepted among the masses , we blamed ourselves for it. There were harsh rumors that the elephant died of food poisoning, this theory was carefully shielded from us and I really hope it isn’t true. I'm still too small to handle it. All this makes mahaganapathi very next door, I cant blame myself for the initial surprise at his celebrity-ness.

pent up energy

on Friday, May 30, 2008
Its nine. A, L and I drive back in a haze, after a slew of phone calls, reminding us that it is raining. We stop at A’s place, the light drizzle becomes a strong enough reason for us to stand in her balcony , talking of trivial stuff , the conversation revolves around--why A cut her hair, helmet rule, one of them mention hazzaron khwahishein aisi'for god knows what, L is worried that I don’t have a jacket.. .. we don’t say it but it seems like yesterday we laughed with our ladybird cycles in between us.. we call Lava and ask her to come over. She cribs about her pyjama condition ,turns up anyway. We don’t hug. She asks us if we are staying over at A’s place? We call, beg, plead, but our parents say no, and politely remind us that it is ten o’ clock.
We still cling on, A teases her neighbour’ s 8 month old lab. He seems surprised to hear so much chatter at that time of the night , in the quiet road ,that he doesn’t even bark. And he has the brownestttt eyes ever.
I get dropped off , message the three of them that I reached. Now I cant sleep.

Q: why is he wearing a white t shirt? A :Election time

on Monday, May 19, 2008
Its in the air. Elections time, We know it. How? When certain tormenting beings ,self styled dictators in our classrooms , masquerading as lecturers are posted on election duty, you cant thank the EC enough, trust me. There are other signs too which you cant miss , even if you want too.
Blink. there is a new hoarding. For once, annavaru ‘s benign smile doesn’t greet us, Whether it is DR Rajkumar road or the one and only mysore road. Instead its madam sonia, rahul ji , Krishna and manDya Da Gandu Ambareesh juggling in the borrowed space . If you look closely, there are numerous others protégé’s , ‘we are thugs, but look, we are all clean shaven,making a great effort to smile and look respectable in here, so better vote’. The best one was muthappa rai ‘s poster greeting all muslim brothers ‘ID MUBARAK’, near circle, Model code of conduct anyone?
When I mention model code of conduct, there was no autorickshaws with rusted mikes goading us to vote on sleepy afternoons , ‘ I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard a wheezy voice calling out ‘kaMaLLake maTha needi’. Another sure sign was the tune of the conversations in all modes of transport, especially in the canary yellow college bus , our normally reticent driver whom Krishna ( almighty, not our ex maharashtra governer, ) would have been more than happy to point out as a model karma yogi, started talking about ticket distribution with his cronies. The route 276 in BMTC was vehement against hardanahalli’s famous son.The model right winger that I’m I loved eavesdropping on these convo’s, you don’t necessarily have to ;considering such talk is loud enough to beat the grunting of the engine and honking traffic. The most remarkable thing was the fact that Arun jaitley set the mood for the oncoming frenzy by kicking off his rally in malleswaram grounds, I would have almost missed him in my homeground, lest P’s timely message. Just made it as yedurappa signed off, handing over the show to this lawyer turned politician. Jaitley looked like he could do with a hair cut though I still wonder if it was a part of bonding with the masses strategy, he spoke in hindi , his public school English refusing to let him go. For once the kadlekai sellers, KWALITY walls ice cream guy and the beedi smoke didn’t bother me, the man was in flesh and blood , not on ndtv or ibn. Ananth kumar was at his sulky best ( driSHti Gombe for the entire show,trust me),acting like he was doing all thathas of malleswaram a favor by turning up. This man can compete with deve gowda when it comes to unpleasant facial demeanour. Everytime jaitlay took a dig at rahul ji, we clapped with the beedi crowd, landmark day it was, I was now determined to vote.
Other lesser known effects of Karnataka going to polls is the fact that my remote has stopped working and Appa thinks we should get a new one so that we don’t have to waste precious time over tapping the remote, while flipping through every news channel in our cable network. Yes, we might constitute the sole viewer ship of suvarna and Xtv.
Also pizza hut leaflets were briefly replaced by the bjp mla’s campaign leaflet,promising us stuff we couldn’t care less about.
The madness will continue till the counting is done. I will then sulk like it’s the end of an other habba or birthday.

election time crushing

on Saturday, May 17, 2008

yes! he is cute. why am i twenty in the wrong age?

feeding my baby blog

on Tuesday, April 1, 2008
You have to name your blog before you start writing in it, dunno about you guys but I’m really bad at this, staring at my monitor, my mind blank with the colourful eblogger page staring at me, I cursed google and all the people who had fancily named their blogs sending signs of their cryptic undercurrents. The problem arised when I deleted my first born blog, in a fit of VTU depression [ one of the bonuses, blame all your inexplicable actions on them ] . I regret it now, as I write this not engulfed by remorse or anything , a twinge of guilt nevertheless.
The deletion of my blog was followed by a period of tranquility, when I didn’t think of my writing while brushing my teeth or writing data sheets [ all Freudian level thinking happens when I do this], few friends who read my blog earlier showed respectable amount of remorse , sighing, along with messaging their regret. People say time heals, but no, it doesn’t.
Anyway I start blogging again officially, one of the many reasons is to chronicle the tales of the place I grew up in, now that moving is sort of round the corner. Will also feed you with engineering kaalegu gossip and insight into my twisted political ideas. Of course, its all about looking through my perspective, don’t blame me, this is were I get to complete my sentences.
Intro post over!!! Yay!!!!